Debbie

My foster son, Michael, aged 8, was born HIV positive and diagnosed with AIDS at the age of 8 months. While still not expected to survive into adulthood, he is now a lively, bright, active and charming individual.

Born to parents who subsequently, and most unexpectedly, discovered that they were both HIV positive, Michael is one of a small but growing number of children in this country who have AIDS.

I took on Michael as a foster child three and a half years ago after his mother died of AIDS and his father became too ill to look after him. I took him into our family home, in a small village in the South West. At first relations with the local school were wonderful and Michael thrived. Only the head teacher and Michael's personal class assistant knew of his illness.

Then someone broke confidentiality and told a parent that Michael had AIDS. That parent, of course, told all the others. This caused such panic and hostility that we were forced to move out of the area.

Michael was no longer welcome at the school. Other children were not allowed to play with him - instead they jeered and taunted him cruelly. One day a local mother started screaming at us to keep him away from her children and shouting that he should have been put down at birth. Michael heard her.
Later Michael said, sadly, 'Mummy, why can't I be human like other children?'

Having decided where we would now like to live, I contacted, through the local Health Advisor, three schools in a little country town. Despite the current Guidelines, none of the head teachers would agree to secrecy about Michael's condition. Indeed, one of them immediately told everyone that a child with AIDS would be coming to the school. Another refused him a place on the grounds that they had vulnerable children in the school. We moved on, to seek a new home elsewhere.

In another town, a senior Social Worker and the Deputy Director for Education tried to find a school placement for Michael where only those with a 'Need to Know' would be informed of his HIV status. The Headmaster of one school said that he understood the position and accepted the need for confidentiality. He was told quite clearly that he did not have my permission to say anything to anyone about Michael - and he agreed.

So, knowing that a school place was available, I finalised arrangements on buying a local house and then made an appointment to meet the Headmaster myself. After having driven with Michael for over an hour and a half to reach the school, I was met by the Education Placement Officer who explained, with great embarrassment, that the Headmaster had already informed all his staff of Michael's condition.

He claimed he had a duty of care to his staff, but if he is following the usual universal safety precautions, as is required in all schools, then there is absolutely no risk to any child or member of staff.

The next school approached was very small so, reluctantly; I agreed that all the staff should know of Michael's status. After I explained to the teachers that they had absolutely nothing to fear, Michael was accepted and is now enrolled in this school, but his status is kept secret from everyone except the staff.

The risk is to Michael and us, his family. Mob rule is dangerous. Ignorance about HIV means that people are frightened. And frightened people do not behave rationally. We could well be driven out of our home yet again. Michael is entitled to privacy, education and a full life, however brief it might be.

Michael is aware that he is being treated differently but I try to shield him from the worst of the stigma that surrounds HIV and AIDS. Because of this I cannot reveal my identity for fear of being driven out of yet another home. I must do what I can to protect my dear foster son, and all our family, so that he may live the rest of what will be a tragically short life in relative peace.