Dean

I was diagnosed over 3 years ago. I was in a high flying career as a stockbroker for a large European investment bank. I enjoyed all the trappings of a gay, young wealthy professional. However in April 1999 I was diagnosed as positive.

I considered myself to be fairly low risk, and had (mostly) been safe, so the news came as a shock. I carried on as normal for a while, however I was just hiding from the news and was putting off facing the fact that I was positive, and all that implied. My partner at the time, who had suggested going for a test together left me a couple of months later (he had tested negative) which was a huge blow. I thought I would never be involved with anyone ever again given my status. I fell apart.

Work was initially sympathetic, I disclosed my status to my department head, and got paid leave. However the news did spread within the firm and around other institutions in the City (it's a very gossipy, incestuous working environment), I went back to work for a short time but couldn't cope with the pressure, signing off sick again I was given an ultimatum to return or be constructively dismissed.

They were pleased to wash their hands of me and being in a very fragile, distressed state I did not challenge their decision. Something I obviously regret now!

I then decided to leave the country and travel and spent two years abroad, Africa and Australia mainly, I wanted to settle in Australia however to obtain residency required a HIV test, and I eventually returned to the UK at the end of last year.
I found many of my old friends had moved on and felt very isolated.

I decided not to return to London and I have settled in rural Gloucestershire. It's given me a focus and new perspective on life and I hope to establish a career in the voluntary sector, my main ambition being to work on projects focussed on alleviating the plight of people in developing countries impacted by the AIDS pandemic.